Happy (late) Valentine's Day!
|The husband and me celebrating Valentine's Day by target shooting on the family farm!|
I heard someone talking about "Love" and all the clichés that go along with it. And I thought about this question...
Who or What is at the center of my relationship?
After a poll of friends and family, I found that these things have the ability to become the center of our relationships:
Money - the desire for or obsession over.
Career - when it's prioritized too high.
Kids - who doesn't love them? But, it's damaging for the world to revolve around a child.
Future plans - living for later instead of taking advantage of today.
"Things" (yes I just referred to children as inanimate objects for the purposes of this illustration) should never be the center of our marriages or relationships, though they are very important.
So that leaves the questions of Who is at the center?
If I put myself in the center, I am telling my husband that his opinion doesn't hold as much weight as mine, or that my happiness is more important than his, etc.
If my husband puts himself at the center, I'm left on the outskirts. For any woman who has been on the outskirts of her own relationship, you don't have to be told about the feelings of inadequacy and self-preservation that are battled.
If I put my husband in the center, I'm depriving myself of the potential I have as his wife. I should be beside my husband, not behind him.
If my husband puts me in the center, I may find myself on a pedestal that is dangerously high and lonely.
All of these scenarios will lead to resentment and defensiveness at some point.
It doesn't work for one half of the scale to become lighter or heavier, there will not be balance.
But there has to be Someone in the center so that we can build around it and upon it. A sturdy framework on which we can grow together. That's Jesus Christ.
My husband and I are by no means perfect, but we are blessed. God brought us together with the same drive to know Him better. This will change your interactions with each other and the world.
When we got engaged we chose this as our marriage verse...
Delight thyself in the Lord and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart. - Psalm 37.4
This means that when we find our joy in Jesus' presence, our desires align with His and all the "things" in life will align.